Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had an amazing day reflecting on the year past, planning for the year coming, and fueling your mind and body with healthy habits like I did.
JUST KIDDING. I barely got out of my pajamas, ate some frozen pizza, and basically held Kyrie all day as he slept. I made several attempts at vacuuming but it never happened, the dishes did get *kinda* done, and the Christmas tree is deconstructed but still sitting in the corner because I didn't get it in to storage. Newborn life is not conducive to productivity y'all. Not conducive. That's okay though because:
1) I am totally fine soaking up every ounce of his cuteness and treasuring every cuddle while he wants them and...
2) While it may not be conducive to productivity, it does allow all the time in the world to let my mind wander and think about things I may not typically have the time or brain capacity to entertain.
One of those things has been hitting me hard lately. I have been having such a strong urge to write. I'm not sure if it's the fun stage Kynlee is in right now where she is writing her own books every day just like I did as a kid when I told everyone I wanted to be an author when I grow up. Or maybe it's the fact that we have a newborn again and my instinct is to try to do better at recording every detail because they slip away so easily and I haven't done a very good job of it with the girls. Or maybe I'm just finally entering a season in my life where writing is supposed to play a larger role. I hope so.
Whatever it is, the urge is SO strong.
Every time we go to visit Sean's family I see a paper his mom posted in the guest room that says...
"Writers Write"
....and it always makes me feel some type of way. This may seem a bit dramatic but I feel like I'm failing that little girl and her dreams to be a writer. I tend to just shake it off and think to myself that maybe I'm not actually one of those people who is meant to write and create and move people with their words. Because even though I wanted to be an author growing up, even though I won several writing contests through the years, and even though I find expressing myself through written word endlessly easier than spoken word.....the fact of the matter is I DON'T WRITE. I can't commit to keeping a journal. I can't commit to being consistent with a blog, as you can see considering this one I am posting to now was started (and forgotten about) in 2012.
I don't write, not consistently any way.
And I am so sad every time I really stop and consider that. Because when coming back to this blog tonight to see whether it was even still there, I was nearly in tears reading through the few posts I did manage to write and all the details about Kynlee that I had basically forgotten. What a blessing to go back and relive those moments and milestones when I honestly thought that those details were gone forever, at least with such clarity.
I think the timing was actually very intentional (thanks God), because that particular subject has been on my heart so much lately throughout my pregnancy with Kyrie and his first 5 weeks of life. I look at him when he does something for the first time and I find myself trying to remember the same moments with the girls. What it felt like when they were babies and how their little baby rolls looked and felt. How they sounded when they found their voices to coo and giggle. What their personalities or fun quirks were at certain ages.
But I can't.
Of course I remember generalities and I have pictures which are great. I have some things documented but honestly for someone who claims they "love to write" I did a terrible job. And as I watch Kyrie already growing and changing so much I have an intense conviction to do better. Especially since reading through these few short posts about Kynlee just now was the closest I've come to really remembering how she was and WHO she was at that specific time. And I loved it.
So all that to say I'm dusting off the cobwebs and trying this again. Maybe I'll be better this time or maybe 6 years from now I'll find this blog again and get a little joy over reading through what was happening in our lives for a few short months before I let life get in the way once again.
But hopefully the former, because.....
Writer's Write!
Right?
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
Friday, June 8, 2012
Where does the time go....
Hold up...it's June 8th already??? How did that happen? Wait, I've already been through five weeks of school? Not possible.
That is what goes through my mind all the time lol....time is just FLYING by, I honestly can't believe it. Feels like I just posted the blog about how worried I was about starting school and here I am 1/3 of the way through tri 2 already. Ahhh, life lol. But anyways just wanted to get in a quick update before I start studying since Kynlee just went down for the night. School is going great and other than missing Kynlee every second of the day, I am LOVING being back. But at the end of the day I am heading back to her as fast as humanly possible...as in as fast as I can without getting caught and getting a ticket. Leaving her is difficult but our time together I feel has gotten so much more special because I'm focused on her during that time. They teach something called present time consciousness at Parker and I think it is wonderful. Anything you are doing, be it school, work, family time, whatever....do it 100% and give it all of your attention and thoughts during that time. That is how they teach to keep a balanced life and I think it's a great thing to learn. No doubt in my mind this is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life (second to being mommy and wife eventually of course). I have a whole new prospective on things and don't get near as annoyed with studying and being in class as I used to. Mostly because I realize how blessed and lucky I am to be able to be there. It is hard to find time to study with the munchkin that is for sure, but I haven't had anything lower than a high B yet so that's relieving. I keep telling myself that GPA isn't really THAT important and that I really don't need to make A's...but saying it and actually being ok with that are two completely different things lol! But we'll see if I keep that mindset once midterms hit and I have 5 tests a week (ie...the next two weeks 0_0). Needless to say I am learning a lot and am so excited about it. I won't get to much into that though because I've been to a couple events lately that have me SOO fired up about chiropractic and this would turn into much longer than I have time for right now! (Probably a blog on that coming soon though). I was supposed to start a cleanse today but found out at the last minute it is not safe to do while breastfeeding because some of the toxins you are getting rid of can exit the body through the breastmilk. Which of course is not something you want to happen. So instead I'm just doing the nutrition part of it. So for the next 21 days I have decided to have: No fast food, no caffeine (meaning no iced tea...tear :/ ), no sweets, and only lean meats. I will also limit grains and carbs. So basically I am going to try to eat what the cleanse recommends which is just fruits, veggies, brown rice, and lean meats. But since I can't take the supplements you are supposed to I may have to add some healthy snacks in the mix. Anyways the point is that I may die because I love food and iced tea soooo much haha...so y'all be thinking and praying for me! But anyways enough about ME.....
Becauseeee....it's no secret that everyone just wants to hear about Kynlee anyway haha :). So on that subject...she's still the absolute cutest baby girl ever....in my completely biased, completely one-sided opinion lol! She is growing so fast and developing quite the personality, which she already had a good amount of before. The 17th of June she'll be 8 months old....EIGHT....isn't that crazy? I just can't even deal with it sometimes how much of a whirlwind it is. Let's see...what's happened in the last month and a half. Kynlee flew on her first plane to go see Unkie J graduate! She did AMAZING on the plane and pretty much just fell asleep when the plane took off both ways and slept almost all the way through. No fussing whatsoever! We had a dr checkup today because it took a lot of time to get insurance switched back up here and to find a doctor and all that good stuff. She's in the 75th percentile for height and the 15th for weight....tall and skinny just like her daddy lol. She has a clean bill of health and did awesome at the dr's office! Everywhere we go she's just such a conversation starter. People love her...and she just stares back at them! It's kinda funny actually, she's started to get very interested/wary of anyone she hasn't seen before and she just puts this Kynlee death stare on them until she pretty much makes them uncomfortable to be honest haha. She is also definitelyyy starting to go through the separation anxiety and I can't so much as leave her sight and she starts crying immediately. Wait, is that called separation anxiety or being spoiled?? :) A little bit of both I think! She definitely is a social little girl and does NOT like to be left alone at all, but she's happy to play on her own as long as someone is sitting within reach of her so she can touch you lol! So so sweet and adorable right now but we may have to work on some independence as she gets a bit older. She loves her babysitter Jordan, they have definitely bonded and she hasn't once been upset or crying when I get there to pick her up. That makes things a lot easier for me knowing she's content and happy where she is at while I'm in class. We haven't seen much interest in crawling but she can scoot a little, can stand up on her own either holding your hands or grabbing on something, and is starting to pull herself up in her crib, etc. Just doesn't have any desire to be on her tummy or crawl...the little diva haha! Sometimes I think that might just be God lookin out for me...because I don't know what I would do with this energetic little girl crawling all around the apartment already haha! She is also really starting to interact with games and stuff like that and she lovesss music. She'll start bouncing (dancing) and clapping when songs come on...and as I'm sure all parents understand...it just simply melts my heart. This is just such a fun age and I can't wait to see what all she masters in the next few months. There's a lot more new stuff but I think y'all get the idea...and I have dozens of species of bacteria that need to be studied lol.
I hope everyone is doing wonderful and we miss you all. I'll try to write more often...but atleast for the next two weeks, that's pretty unlikely. But until next time! We love ya'll!
That is what goes through my mind all the time lol....time is just FLYING by, I honestly can't believe it. Feels like I just posted the blog about how worried I was about starting school and here I am 1/3 of the way through tri 2 already. Ahhh, life lol. But anyways just wanted to get in a quick update before I start studying since Kynlee just went down for the night. School is going great and other than missing Kynlee every second of the day, I am LOVING being back. But at the end of the day I am heading back to her as fast as humanly possible...as in as fast as I can without getting caught and getting a ticket. Leaving her is difficult but our time together I feel has gotten so much more special because I'm focused on her during that time. They teach something called present time consciousness at Parker and I think it is wonderful. Anything you are doing, be it school, work, family time, whatever....do it 100% and give it all of your attention and thoughts during that time. That is how they teach to keep a balanced life and I think it's a great thing to learn. No doubt in my mind this is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life (second to being mommy and wife eventually of course). I have a whole new prospective on things and don't get near as annoyed with studying and being in class as I used to. Mostly because I realize how blessed and lucky I am to be able to be there. It is hard to find time to study with the munchkin that is for sure, but I haven't had anything lower than a high B yet so that's relieving. I keep telling myself that GPA isn't really THAT important and that I really don't need to make A's...but saying it and actually being ok with that are two completely different things lol! But we'll see if I keep that mindset once midterms hit and I have 5 tests a week (ie...the next two weeks 0_0). Needless to say I am learning a lot and am so excited about it. I won't get to much into that though because I've been to a couple events lately that have me SOO fired up about chiropractic and this would turn into much longer than I have time for right now! (Probably a blog on that coming soon though). I was supposed to start a cleanse today but found out at the last minute it is not safe to do while breastfeeding because some of the toxins you are getting rid of can exit the body through the breastmilk. Which of course is not something you want to happen. So instead I'm just doing the nutrition part of it. So for the next 21 days I have decided to have: No fast food, no caffeine (meaning no iced tea...tear :/ ), no sweets, and only lean meats. I will also limit grains and carbs. So basically I am going to try to eat what the cleanse recommends which is just fruits, veggies, brown rice, and lean meats. But since I can't take the supplements you are supposed to I may have to add some healthy snacks in the mix. Anyways the point is that I may die because I love food and iced tea soooo much haha...so y'all be thinking and praying for me! But anyways enough about ME.....
Becauseeee....it's no secret that everyone just wants to hear about Kynlee anyway haha :). So on that subject...she's still the absolute cutest baby girl ever....in my completely biased, completely one-sided opinion lol! She is growing so fast and developing quite the personality, which she already had a good amount of before. The 17th of June she'll be 8 months old....EIGHT....isn't that crazy? I just can't even deal with it sometimes how much of a whirlwind it is. Let's see...what's happened in the last month and a half. Kynlee flew on her first plane to go see Unkie J graduate! She did AMAZING on the plane and pretty much just fell asleep when the plane took off both ways and slept almost all the way through. No fussing whatsoever! We had a dr checkup today because it took a lot of time to get insurance switched back up here and to find a doctor and all that good stuff. She's in the 75th percentile for height and the 15th for weight....tall and skinny just like her daddy lol. She has a clean bill of health and did awesome at the dr's office! Everywhere we go she's just such a conversation starter. People love her...and she just stares back at them! It's kinda funny actually, she's started to get very interested/wary of anyone she hasn't seen before and she just puts this Kynlee death stare on them until she pretty much makes them uncomfortable to be honest haha. She is also definitelyyy starting to go through the separation anxiety and I can't so much as leave her sight and she starts crying immediately. Wait, is that called separation anxiety or being spoiled?? :) A little bit of both I think! She definitely is a social little girl and does NOT like to be left alone at all, but she's happy to play on her own as long as someone is sitting within reach of her so she can touch you lol! So so sweet and adorable right now but we may have to work on some independence as she gets a bit older. She loves her babysitter Jordan, they have definitely bonded and she hasn't once been upset or crying when I get there to pick her up. That makes things a lot easier for me knowing she's content and happy where she is at while I'm in class. We haven't seen much interest in crawling but she can scoot a little, can stand up on her own either holding your hands or grabbing on something, and is starting to pull herself up in her crib, etc. Just doesn't have any desire to be on her tummy or crawl...the little diva haha! Sometimes I think that might just be God lookin out for me...because I don't know what I would do with this energetic little girl crawling all around the apartment already haha! She is also really starting to interact with games and stuff like that and she lovesss music. She'll start bouncing (dancing) and clapping when songs come on...and as I'm sure all parents understand...it just simply melts my heart. This is just such a fun age and I can't wait to see what all she masters in the next few months. There's a lot more new stuff but I think y'all get the idea...and I have dozens of species of bacteria that need to be studied lol.
I hope everyone is doing wonderful and we miss you all. I'll try to write more often...but atleast for the next two weeks, that's pretty unlikely. But until next time! We love ya'll!
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| Chillin at the airport |
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| HAHAHA |
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| Kynlee right before she tried to eat the leaves lol |
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| At the rodeo! |
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| Pickin Peaches with Papa |
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Casting My Cares
Next week is a big week for Kynlee and I. As everyone knows before I had Kynlee I was in chiropractic school here in Dallas. If you've watched much tv lately you have probably seen our University president, Dr. Mancini, on several shows such as Dr. Phil and the Doctors. Needless to say Parker is arguably one of the best schools in the country...and that's only written with slight personal bias lol. I knew all along that I would definitely go back. I feel pretty strongly that chiropractic is what I am meant to do for a career. I believe in it, I believe it is amazing and can do amazing things...and I want to be a part of it. I have for awhile. Now, however, the most important thing in my life is Kynlee, of course, and I've really struggled with the decision of when to go back. I want what is best for her...but is that continuing to babysit for a living, which is not something I'm personally content with, and have the ability to be with her 24/7? Or is that just biting the bullet and getting school over with so I can fulfill what I feel I am supposed to be doing and provide for her as well?? Tough decisions...probably some of the toughest I've faced in my entire life.
I was talking to my roommate about it and she said something that kind of stuck with me. She basically said no matter what a mother chooses to do...she will have supporters and she will have people who disagree with her choices. If you choose to stay home you will have people tell you they think you should be in school, or working, or whatever else. If you go back to work you have the people who think you should be at home with your little ones. I agree with this but...well...I want both. See besides how great I think chiropractic is, one thing that led me to it almost just as much, was the flexibility. I plan to have my own office...which means I schedule the days and the hours I want and no more. It also provides a very decent income if you have a succesful practice...which gives me the wonderful opportunity to just have someone keep an eye on my kiddos in a little playroom or something I plan to incorporate into my building. I can see them off and on all day, when they are of school age and have events scheduled I simply don't schedule an appointment for that time, am able to drop them off and pick them up...and all that good stuff. I really feel like this is one of the few careers that can give me the best of both worlds...getting to be both things I love...a chiropractor and most importantly, a mommy.
But obviously the big catch here is...school. In order for all these plans and dreams I have to happen...I need to finish school. I moved back to Dallas with Kynlee a few months ago and basically just started praying about it and trying my best (trying being the key word) not to worry and be anxious about it. I decided to not push it but to start looking for a person I would be comfortable leaving Kynlee with...and if it happened by May great...if not then maybe I could start in September or whenever I felt that God was opening the doors for me to go back. Well, before I could even really start looking for someone, I had an opportunity really just fall in my lap. A married couple that my roommate knows really well and I am familiar with through Parker had friends who are about 2 months pregnant with their first child. The wife is about my age and had just quit her job at a bank because she wanted to stay at home and babysit until their little one came. She hadn't even begun to look either when our mutual friends told us about each other. I have met with her a few times and love her. Super sweet girl and she will only be watching Kynlee which makes me so much more comfortable that Kynlee will have one-on-one attention when she is there. Also she lives like half a mile from me on the way to school (which will really be a life-saver when I have class at 7am three days a week) and she is willing to do it for our budget...which is pretty amazing in itself. There have also been other things open up which I won't go into for the sake of length...that have all led to the ability for me to start school this upcoming trimester. And that excites and absolutely terrifies me all at once.
Now I just have to trust that when I prayed for doors to open if it was the right time for me to go back...that all these open doors I have been led through are really what they seem to be. Because I am so so soooo nervous about not being with Kynlee. It will be for about 30 hrs a week (although I fully intend to skip as much as I can to be with her). I will have 2-3 days a week I will be done at noon though, so that's nice. I just keep telling myself that there are 168 hours in a week. This means I still have about 138 to spend with her every week. That makes me feel better most of the time. Given, a lot of those are night time hours...but (sorry to all you moms who are going to freak out about this) Kynlee sleeps and cuddles with me all night still anyways...so they count too! :)
So I guess it seems...the time has come. I am anxious of course...but I am thankful that I have been blessed enough to have worked with and stayed with Kynlee for this long. I just ask now for support and lots of prayers that everything will work out for the best! I really feel like this is where we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to be doing...but who knows what God has in store. I just know that at this moment, I have peace with the decision...and that's all I can ask for. I will update with how it is all going soon. 30 out of 168 hours...I can do that...I hope lol. Love you all!
We are sitting up now by the way...she is just getting so big! :)
Friday, April 13, 2012
City girl swag and a country girl smile
Well I'm pretty bummed writing this. I had spent a week or two atleast writing my next blog. Just adding what I could here and there when I had a spare moment (which isn't too often these days) and I sign on just now to finish it up and publish it...and it only saved the first paragraph :( ....pretty disappointing considering how long it takes me to write them at this point but oh wellll. I don't even feel like trying to rewrite the whole thing so just know y'all are missing out on some hilarious stories from spring break and Six Flags. Kayla and Sean...you both get off the hook. Y'all know what I mean lol.
This is the one part it did save:
Well Kynlee and I are back and relatively settled into our apartment in Irving. It has been great catching up with the roomie Catie, although they are super busy with school. Scary busy...all of which I will be attempting to do with baby girl soon...but I just have to get OCD-style organized and I'll be fine! Kynlee is adjusting just fine into our new city-girl lifestyle. We miss a lot of things about Utopia but there are some perks to city living...not having to drive an hour to the nearest grocery store comes to mind right away! It is a little tough to get things done when it's just me and Kynlee up here, but I'm learning quickly how to find time to get things done. Of course as I type that I still have atleast two boxes I have yet to unpack from back home...but that's also because I have no more room for stuff lol! Babies seriously acquire more things in a few mere months than adults do in years. Crazy!
That was like 1/10th of what I had wrote...grrrrr. Technology...so amazing and yet so frustrating all at the same time! I think I'm just going to give some updated pics of Kynlee (imagine that lol) and just get this one published and hopefully go more in detail about what we've been up to around here soon!
She is about to be 6 months in just a few days 0_0 ....can y'all believe that? That's just too crazy. She's absolutely amazing and I love her more than I could ever imagine I could have loved someone. She has really become quite the good-natured baby. (and thank God because she was a handful the first few months lol!) She has started baby food recently. Her favorites so far are carrots and sweet potatoes..and this blueberry, apple, and brown rice organic mix that I bought! She is rolling over, although she is pretty stubborn about when and how much she does it. She is very adept at picking things up with her hands and transferring them from hand to hand. She has been holding her own bottle since before 4 months. She still doesn't just love tummy time but she's enjoying it more and more now that she realizes she can play while she's down there. She is babbling away and still loves to squeal like Grammy taught her...usually in public of course! She can sit up for very short periods of time but still loses her balance and topples over (hilarious by the way) and she can slide herself around on the ground for toys but hasn't started to crawl yet. She's gettin there though. Her legs are very strong and she pretty much always wants to stand up in my lap. That sitting stuff is for babies I guess lol! She loves the little girl who I am babysitting until I start school and she just laughs and laughs when the little girl plays with her. She is incredibly busy...all of the time! Always alert and wanting to see anything new around her. She loves music and I swear she can find a TV if there is one anywhere remotely near her. Although I try not to let her watch it often, her favorite thing is basketball! Who would of thought, such a daddy's girl already lol. She loves books and bathtime. She always finds a way to wiggle out of my grasp enough to dunk her face under the water. I expect tears and she just looks up at me with those big blinking brown eyes and then smiles! She's gonna be a fan of the pool this summer I think! She also has a new sippy cup and is working on getting used to that. Here are some pictures!
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| 4 1/2 months...managed to snap a pick before she lost her balance lol |
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| Big Smiles |
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| Family pic on Kynlee's five month bday lol |
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| Loves her CareBear book |
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| Kynlee at the park! |
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| "I'm supposed to do whatttt with this thing??" |
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| "Oh, ok" |
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| Just like her Daddy |
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Gettin close to being on the move! |
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| Preppy Kynlee lol |
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That smirk |
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| "Hey Mom!" |
Spring Break!
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| Looking rough at Six Flags |
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A Well Deserved Thank You
Kynlee and I have been back in Dallas for three full days now. My room got real small real fast and a lot of our stuff isn't even here yet! It's good to be back though and Kynlee is actually doing really well. I was worried because my family helped out so much when I needed to go hop in the shower, cook some food, or whatever. I knew it would be time for Kynlee to maybe just have to "cry it out" a little bit when I had dinner on the stove or was in the middle of something, and I knew she wouldn't like that too much. She is doing great though, getting so much more independent and growing so fast. I don't even have to put her to sleep anymore, just leave her with a blanket and shut the door and she'll play until she falls asleep :)
Anyways as good as it is to be back and moving on with life, I miss my family very much. They have been so incredible throughout everything and I wanted to say a thank you for all they have done. I am so lucky to have the people I do in my life to support me, guide me, stand by me, advise me, pray with me, and so much more. Last spring I was scared and ashamed and I had no idea what was going to happen. I knew only that my actions had resulted in a consequence that I would have to face and deal with. And now look...that "consequence" is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me...but I would never have gotten to this point without my family. They stood by me proudly through it all and for that I am so incredibly thankful.
You know my whole life I was raised in a Christian household. I was taught right from wrong. I was taught what choices I should make and how I should live a "good life". That is all well and good and I plan to teach my children these things as well. Some parents stop teaching there, however, and when adversity happens, when mistakes are made....guilt and shame are placed on the children who will inevitably fall short of a perfect life. But luckily for me my parents understood and taught me the rest of the story. That no one is perfect, that everyone falls, and that God is the essence of grace and mercy.
At the church here in Dallas, the pastor said that you really find out if a person understands the gospel when they stumble and fall in their lives. Because those who do not will run away and hide from God, trying to make up for their shortcomings with good works. This will never suffice because no one is good enough on their own. But the person who truly understand the gospel realizes that when you mess up it is the absolute best time to run to Him...because that is the only way you can get back up on your feet. I am so blessed to have parents who taught me that. Of all the things they've done for me (and that would be a lot) instilling that in me was the best by far. I pray that I am able to do the same for Kynlee. Of course I will hope and pray that she stumbles far less than I have in life...but if and when she does I hope that she knows that she can never do anything to lose my love..and she can never do anything that God wouldn't forgive in a second.
Some way, somehow I will pay my family back for all they have done. (Free chiropractic visits anyone lol???) But I hope y'all know how grateful I am for everything. To my parents for way too much to list, but staying at your house with a baby for four months certainly would top that list lol! To "Unkie J" for being a wonderful uncle...and for sharing his bathroom. :) To Aunt Lala for making the longgg trips to come see Kynlee whenever she can. And to all other family (and friends who I consider family), who I'm not about to try to name names because I would definitely forget someone, for all your gifts, kind words, support, and everything else. I also want to thank Sean's fam for being so open and accepting of me in such a short amount of time, and so wonderful with Kynlee. I love you all! :) This is sounding like an acceptance speech lol sorry!! :/
I will not write many blogs this serious, it makes me a bit uncomfortable to do so, but I felt like this one needed to be done. I've been too blessed by too many people to not try to say thank you anyway I can!!!To end on a lighter note...I somehow managed to forget the funniest part of my last blog about Kynlee's church incident. I'm not sure if y'all know this but my dad is one of those "can't watch anything gross while I'm eating" type people. One of those "but what about bacteriaaaaa" type people. One of those "I don't do poop" type people. I think y'all see where I'm going with this. Don't get me wrong...He is amazing with Kynlee (they even have a "Papa is amazing" song!) but when a diaper is filled or spit up comes he quickly hands her back. And that's ok...because she's my baby and I think that's my job (and Sean's of course...but he can make up some diapers later haha) to clean up after her. If you recall the church story though...mom and I made a quick exit to get Kynlee cleaned up, which left only one person to clean up the mess she had made in church...in front of everyone. And if that one person wouldn't have been Dad hahahaha...his face when we came back was too funny. He definitely took one for the team there! Thanks Papa!
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| She loves those bells! |
You know my whole life I was raised in a Christian household. I was taught right from wrong. I was taught what choices I should make and how I should live a "good life". That is all well and good and I plan to teach my children these things as well. Some parents stop teaching there, however, and when adversity happens, when mistakes are made....guilt and shame are placed on the children who will inevitably fall short of a perfect life. But luckily for me my parents understood and taught me the rest of the story. That no one is perfect, that everyone falls, and that God is the essence of grace and mercy.
At the church here in Dallas, the pastor said that you really find out if a person understands the gospel when they stumble and fall in their lives. Because those who do not will run away and hide from God, trying to make up for their shortcomings with good works. This will never suffice because no one is good enough on their own. But the person who truly understand the gospel realizes that when you mess up it is the absolute best time to run to Him...because that is the only way you can get back up on your feet. I am so blessed to have parents who taught me that. Of all the things they've done for me (and that would be a lot) instilling that in me was the best by far. I pray that I am able to do the same for Kynlee. Of course I will hope and pray that she stumbles far less than I have in life...but if and when she does I hope that she knows that she can never do anything to lose my love..and she can never do anything that God wouldn't forgive in a second.
Some way, somehow I will pay my family back for all they have done. (Free chiropractic visits anyone lol???) But I hope y'all know how grateful I am for everything. To my parents for way too much to list, but staying at your house with a baby for four months certainly would top that list lol! To "Unkie J" for being a wonderful uncle...and for sharing his bathroom. :) To Aunt Lala for making the longgg trips to come see Kynlee whenever she can. And to all other family (and friends who I consider family), who I'm not about to try to name names because I would definitely forget someone, for all your gifts, kind words, support, and everything else. I also want to thank Sean's fam for being so open and accepting of me in such a short amount of time, and so wonderful with Kynlee. I love you all! :) This is sounding like an acceptance speech lol sorry!! :/
I will not write many blogs this serious, it makes me a bit uncomfortable to do so, but I felt like this one needed to be done. I've been too blessed by too many people to not try to say thank you anyway I can!!!To end on a lighter note...I somehow managed to forget the funniest part of my last blog about Kynlee's church incident. I'm not sure if y'all know this but my dad is one of those "can't watch anything gross while I'm eating" type people. One of those "but what about bacteriaaaaa" type people. One of those "I don't do poop" type people. I think y'all see where I'm going with this. Don't get me wrong...He is amazing with Kynlee (they even have a "Papa is amazing" song!) but when a diaper is filled or spit up comes he quickly hands her back. And that's ok...because she's my baby and I think that's my job (and Sean's of course...but he can make up some diapers later haha) to clean up after her. If you recall the church story though...mom and I made a quick exit to get Kynlee cleaned up, which left only one person to clean up the mess she had made in church...in front of everyone. And if that one person wouldn't have been Dad hahahaha...his face when we came back was too funny. He definitely took one for the team there! Thanks Papa!
Monday, February 27, 2012
"Um, excuse me ma'am....your baby!"
I've come to find that the life of a mom is one that requires a person to give up any preoccupations they may have on what other people think of them. Between the hair always in a pony-tail, the perpetual spit-up stain on whatever shirt you are wearing, and the slobber, well that's just everywhere...dignity just seems to have to take a backseat for a little while. Things that are honestly pretty gross (but somehow not at all to me because she's so darn cute) always seem to happen at the most inconvenient times...like in public. You just have to laugh and that's exactly what I do. We had one of these moments in church yesterday and I just found it too funny not to share. Here's how it went down:
I can only imagine how many more moments like this we will have in the coming years. I think maybe I was supposed to be embarrassed? Nahhh....there is absolutely no reason to take life so seriously. It's so so much better when you can laugh at yourself....and your poop-squirting four month old ;)
We walked up to our usual row in church as everyone was starting to find their seats right before the service started. Kynlee was being unusually cuddly and still, completely relaxed on my mom's shoulder. Her arms were even down by her side and anyone who knows her knows that she really reallyyy has to be relaxed for that to happen. We were standing up visiting in front of our chairs and commenting on how cute Kynlee was being, when the lady who was sitting a few chairs down from us taps my mom and says, "Excuse me ma'am, your baby". Now being the proud mom I am, I smile at her assuming that she is about to tell me how cute Kynlee is like everyone else does. So I smile and nod at her like a dummy until she points down at the seat in front of us. My mom and I look and it takes me a few seconds to register that there was a big yellowish splatter of poop on the chair in front of us...and more on the ground...and a lot more all over my mom's sleeve. Apparently the pressure of Kynlee being so relaxed resting on my mom's arm had caused the "fun surprise" to squirt up and out of the top of the diaper and (since she wasn't wearing a onesie) out onto anything and everything in the immediate vicinity. The lady who I had mistaken for a Kynlee admirer was NOT impressed in the least haha! I think baby girl finally met someone not taken with her baby charm! So we ran around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to get it all cleaned up and the baby all the way back out into the foyer area and into the bathroom without making a bigger mess. And I laughed SO HARD! The rest of the service the lady kept giving us side glares and my mom and I giggled everytime we looked at each other.
I can only imagine how many more moments like this we will have in the coming years. I think maybe I was supposed to be embarrassed? Nahhh....there is absolutely no reason to take life so seriously. It's so so much better when you can laugh at yourself....and your poop-squirting four month old ;)
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| "Who...me?!?" |
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Kynlee Abrianna
Having my mom close by for these first few months of motherhood has been invaluable. She is amazing and has helped so much, as has all my family and Sean's. Daily I bombard her with what seems like hundreds of questions about Kynlee or about babies in general. I always ask her when my siblings and I reached different milestones as babies, anxious for someone to tell me when the heck we'll be sleeping all night again mostly lol. Most of the times she remembers but occasionally she just looks at me and reminds me somewhat nicely that it has been 18 years since her youngest was a baby and how could I possibly expect her to remember that. At first I was a little smug, thinking how could you possibly forget when your baby does something so exciting and cute. The smugness lasted until about a week ago when my mom asked how many weeks Kynlee was when she gave us that first precious gummy grin. I thought for awhile until realizing with dismay that I couldn't tell her exactly when it was...and that made me sad. All that to say, I HAVE to start writing these things down or I am going to be real mad at myself later! So what follows is a sum up of Kynlee's first four months. I'll just hit the highlights...but let's be real...when you're a mom with a new baby, isn't it pretty much all highlights? :)
These are two of my favorite sonogram pictures of her :)
Kynlee was born on October 17th at 5:33pm at Medina Regional Hospital in Hondo Texas. The night before a fellow pregnant friend and I in our third-trimester misery had decided to make it a race as to who had their little one first. The very next morning I went into labor. Guess baby girl inherited my competitiveness! :) She was 6lb 14oz and 19.5 inches of perfection. She was born with an attitude and stills gives it to me on a regular basis ha! My parents were the only ones at the hospital when she was first born because labor went sooo fast! (Word of advice: don't try to eat bbq or walk around walmart in active labor. It hurts -_- ) Ask me for that story if you enjoy a humorous tale of another's pain lol! Enough self-pity though...it was pretty wild. Sean was on his way from Belton, Aunt Kayla on her way from Lubbock, and everyone else headed that way as fast as they could...and Kynlee wasn't waiting on ANYBODY! Everything went well but she had the chord wrapped around her neck three times 0_0. Apparently my chord was very unusually long and thin. If it had been normal length the delivery would have been MUCH more serious. How good is God, huh? Always lookin out.
We stayed at the hospital for one night only. Sleep was definitely not happening between Kynlee already crying when someone wasn't holding her and the nurses "checking in" pretty much every 10 minutes. But what an incredible amazing night. I assume only other parents can understand that feeling of watching your child that God created for the first time. Just absolute wonder and awe is the only way I can put it. SO cool! Also as a mom who gets to experience the movements and growth of the child for 9 months, the ability to see Sean as a dad get to interact and meet and enjoy her for what really was the first time was very special. We went home the next day, and haven't stopped since. She lost a little over a pound that first week and was the tiniest little thing I've ever seen. Week 1 was rough due to breastfeeding issues but we got those figured out by week 2 and things got much smoother.
It is crazy how the time has flown by. Here it is end of February and baby girl is growing and changing so much! She definitely resembles her daddy but lately people have actually started saying they can see me in her as well :) Things aren't perfect and sometimes our situation is hard but I can't get over how blessed I am. I don't deserve how God turns all things into good...but I am so thankful! To avoid this being longer than it already is I'm just going to post pictures of the memorable "firsts" Kynlee has had in her first four months!
These are two of my favorite sonogram pictures of her :)
Kynlee was born on October 17th at 5:33pm at Medina Regional Hospital in Hondo Texas. The night before a fellow pregnant friend and I in our third-trimester misery had decided to make it a race as to who had their little one first. The very next morning I went into labor. Guess baby girl inherited my competitiveness! :) She was 6lb 14oz and 19.5 inches of perfection. She was born with an attitude and stills gives it to me on a regular basis ha! My parents were the only ones at the hospital when she was first born because labor went sooo fast! (Word of advice: don't try to eat bbq or walk around walmart in active labor. It hurts -_- ) Ask me for that story if you enjoy a humorous tale of another's pain lol! Enough self-pity though...it was pretty wild. Sean was on his way from Belton, Aunt Kayla on her way from Lubbock, and everyone else headed that way as fast as they could...and Kynlee wasn't waiting on ANYBODY! Everything went well but she had the chord wrapped around her neck three times 0_0. Apparently my chord was very unusually long and thin. If it had been normal length the delivery would have been MUCH more serious. How good is God, huh? Always lookin out.
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| Daddy's first time holding Kynlee <3
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It is crazy how the time has flown by. Here it is end of February and baby girl is growing and changing so much! She definitely resembles her daddy but lately people have actually started saying they can see me in her as well :) Things aren't perfect and sometimes our situation is hard but I can't get over how blessed I am. I don't deserve how God turns all things into good...but I am so thankful! To avoid this being longer than it already is I'm just going to post pictures of the memorable "firsts" Kynlee has had in her first four months!
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| First Car Ride |
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| First Bath! |
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| First time to hold head up: in the hospital! |
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| First Dr's Appointment |
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| First Halloween: meoww! |
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| First (recorded) smile: 1 month |
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| First time meeting her cousins Autumn and Piper :) |
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| Our first Christmas <3 |
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| Kynlee and Santa |
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| First time to pee on Daddy ;) |
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| First Stockshow! |
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| First time holding a bottle ~3 months |
Kynlee has also rolled over, laughs like crazy, and has started to eat some rice cereal and some carrots so far but I couldn't get the videos to upload. They're all on facebook anyways. I'm so "that mom" that bombards everybody with pics/videos of my little munchkin. It's not gonna stop though so get used to it :) I cannot wait to experience everything else to come. It is going by so fast and she's such a special little girl. Until next time! :)
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