Next week is a big week for Kynlee and I. As everyone knows before I had Kynlee I was in chiropractic school here in Dallas. If you've watched much tv lately you have probably seen our University president, Dr. Mancini, on several shows such as Dr. Phil and the Doctors. Needless to say Parker is arguably one of the best schools in the country...and that's only written with slight personal bias lol. I knew all along that I would definitely go back. I feel pretty strongly that chiropractic is what I am meant to do for a career. I believe in it, I believe it is amazing and can do amazing things...and I want to be a part of it. I have for awhile. Now, however, the most important thing in my life is Kynlee, of course, and I've really struggled with the decision of when to go back. I want what is best for her...but is that continuing to babysit for a living, which is not something I'm personally content with, and have the ability to be with her 24/7? Or is that just biting the bullet and getting school over with so I can fulfill what I feel I am supposed to be doing and provide for her as well?? Tough decisions...probably some of the toughest I've faced in my entire life.
I was talking to my roommate about it and she said something that kind of stuck with me. She basically said no matter what a mother chooses to do...she will have supporters and she will have people who disagree with her choices. If you choose to stay home you will have people tell you they think you should be in school, or working, or whatever else. If you go back to work you have the people who think you should be at home with your little ones. I agree with this but...well...I want both. See besides how great I think chiropractic is, one thing that led me to it almost just as much, was the flexibility. I plan to have my own office...which means I schedule the days and the hours I want and no more. It also provides a very decent income if you have a succesful practice...which gives me the wonderful opportunity to just have someone keep an eye on my kiddos in a little playroom or something I plan to incorporate into my building. I can see them off and on all day, when they are of school age and have events scheduled I simply don't schedule an appointment for that time, am able to drop them off and pick them up...and all that good stuff. I really feel like this is one of the few careers that can give me the best of both worlds...getting to be both things I love...a chiropractor and most importantly, a mommy.
But obviously the big catch here is...school. In order for all these plans and dreams I have to happen...I need to finish school. I moved back to Dallas with Kynlee a few months ago and basically just started praying about it and trying my best (trying being the key word) not to worry and be anxious about it. I decided to not push it but to start looking for a person I would be comfortable leaving Kynlee with...and if it happened by May great...if not then maybe I could start in September or whenever I felt that God was opening the doors for me to go back. Well, before I could even really start looking for someone, I had an opportunity really just fall in my lap. A married couple that my roommate knows really well and I am familiar with through Parker had friends who are about 2 months pregnant with their first child. The wife is about my age and had just quit her job at a bank because she wanted to stay at home and babysit until their little one came. She hadn't even begun to look either when our mutual friends told us about each other. I have met with her a few times and love her. Super sweet girl and she will only be watching Kynlee which makes me so much more comfortable that Kynlee will have one-on-one attention when she is there. Also she lives like half a mile from me on the way to school (which will really be a life-saver when I have class at 7am three days a week) and she is willing to do it for our budget...which is pretty amazing in itself. There have also been other things open up which I won't go into for the sake of length...that have all led to the ability for me to start school this upcoming trimester. And that excites and absolutely terrifies me all at once.
Now I just have to trust that when I prayed for doors to open if it was the right time for me to go back...that all these open doors I have been led through are really what they seem to be. Because I am so so soooo nervous about not being with Kynlee. It will be for about 30 hrs a week (although I fully intend to skip as much as I can to be with her). I will have 2-3 days a week I will be done at noon though, so that's nice. I just keep telling myself that there are 168 hours in a week. This means I still have about 138 to spend with her every week. That makes me feel better most of the time. Given, a lot of those are night time hours...but (sorry to all you moms who are going to freak out about this) Kynlee sleeps and cuddles with me all night still anyways...so they count too! :)
So I guess it seems...the time has come. I am anxious of course...but I am thankful that I have been blessed enough to have worked with and stayed with Kynlee for this long. I just ask now for support and lots of prayers that everything will work out for the best! I really feel like this is where we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to be doing...but who knows what God has in store. I just know that at this moment, I have peace with the decision...and that's all I can ask for. I will update with how it is all going soon. 30 out of 168 hours...I can do that...I hope lol. Love you all!
We are sitting up now by the way...she is just getting so big! :)
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